Things will change
This time last year I was 37 weeks pregnant and just starting my maternity leave. I had really swollen feet due to the heat and felt the size of a whale! I had no idea just how much my life was about to change. No one can prepare you for becoming a mother, you can read all the books, attend all the classes but in the end it’s all down to you and it happens fast. I spent a huge amount of time worrying about what sort of mother I would be. I was convinced I would be terrible. As an only child I don’t have any experience of babies. None of our friends have any and if I had ever been around one I usually declined any offer to hold them. In fact before Clem came along I had never held a baby for fear of dropping them!
I wasn’t one of those girls who had lots of dolls growing up. Yes I had barbies but I used to cut their hair off, draw on them and colour their hair in. I grew up on a road that had a lot of boys on it so I spent a lot of time kicking a football around and messing around on bikes or skateboards. I certainly didn’t dream of having children, being married or buying a house. Now here I am at 31 a mother and a homeowner. I’m not married but Jesse and I have been together since 2003 so we might as well be!
I know I say this all the time but I actually can’t believe that we are approaching Clementines first birthday. It has gone by so quickly. Whenever friends see me one thing they always say is that becoming a mother hasn’t really changed me but it has. I used to go to gigs and festivals with friends all the time. I would go to all night cinema screenings, watch 6 films in a row, drink a silly amount of energy drinks and eat a ridiculous amount of popcorn, now I’m lucky if I can sit through one film! I still go to gigs but nowhere near as many as I used to, and instead of going for nights out for cocktails and rock clubs I’m at home reading stories and trying to get a baby who refuses to sleep to sleep.
Another big change was giving up work. Instead of stationery, sales figures and dealing with the general public it’s now trips to the park and nappy changes. If I’m honest I much prefer being a mum, having worked in retail since I was 16 it’s nice just being a mum. I haven’t stopped dyeing my hair silly colours, I haven’t changed the way I dress, or the music I listen to or the TV shows I watch. I now have the perfect excuse for watching cartoons and kids films. We can go to places that are ideal for kids/babies and not look like crazy people, we can go on the slides and swings in the park and as she gets older we can take her to festivals and other things like that and I can’t wait.